There are two very easy ways to win your fantasy football league this year and in years to come. The ideas I am about to present are neither original or my own.
In fact, these ideas are from a dear friend of mine, who we will call ... Dan Marino. You see, "Dan" is a genius, but he's one of those people who's shy about sharing his ideas, so I've decided to steal his idea and write this article to prove to him that he should've written it himself. Enough with the preamble, you say?
How can you win your fantasy football league?
1. Surround yourself with stupid people: Be in a league with a bunch of stupid folks. Seriously! Your ability to win your league has a lot more to do with how stupid the people are in your league than how smart you are, or how smart you think you are. Make sure that your league is filled with guys and girls who run their mouth's, but really lack the football knowledge and preparation time to seriously contend in the league. For the record, I fall into this category. I totally run my mouth about beating everyone, but probably won't pour over the waiver wire enough to be a serious contender.
2. Be lucky! If everyone in your league has the same amount of football knowledge and is willing to put in the same amount of crazy time in preparing, then it really comes down to dumb luck. Who can really predict who is going to get injured? No one—so while you think you used your smarts to win your league because all your guys stayed healthy, it's really just luck! Think about it—if you draft an amazing team, but your team was crippled by injuries, you would attribute it to bad luck. But, when your team stays healthy and you win your league, you think you are smart and had good instincts to draft "healthy" guys.
In closing, you can't control No. 2, but you definitely can control No. 1. So, recruit the stupid, most cocky jerks you can find in your office and in your group of friends, because it's always more fun to take stupid people's money anyway.
In closing, it's really important that you not only recruit stupid people for your fantasy football league, but that you keep the smart folks out of the league. Make sure that you come up with great excuses to prevent legitimate contenders from joining your league.
If people believe these two facts about fantasy football would they still play? After "Dan" showed me the light, I definitely lost some motivation. Well, at least I know have a good excuse when I come in last.
What do you think of these theories?
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